"Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
~Mary Oliver, The Summer's Day
What do you WANT in this one life?
Most of my coach clients default to something like “Do the work I love”.
What about the rest of life?
Do you long for intimacy with your spouse or partner? Do you long to find a partner?
Do you crave more quality time with the kids, not those witching hours between getting home from work, getting the homework done, and wresting everyone to bed?
Do you crave delicious walks in nature? Recalling a passion or creative outlet from high school?
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My clients tend to put their hopes in the Business Basket, and they imagine this free, unfettered life with plenty of time and money to do everything that’s meaningful in the REST of their life…
...Once the business basket is handled.
Do you want to spend 5 years with all your hopes pinned on that one basket? Because the truth is, a business THAT successful can take 3-5 years!
Here’s what I think is really going on:
The business is a scapegoat.
It’s a way to avoid all the other things we long to have.A red herring.
I don’t have happiness, fulfillment and great sex in my marriage because I’m working full time and building a business.
I’d have more time and less yelling for the children if I didn’t always have to work after hours for my business.
I’d be on retreats or having those fun girls’ nights ~ oh how I miss big belly laughs with my girls! ~ if it weren’t for not having any time.
Really. Really? Really!What if you were to boldly state what you want in all of your life?
All of your life.
And then ask for it.Fridays to work from home.
Hell, Fridays to end your day at noon.
To skip that draining family vacation and create your own memories
To forgive another.
To draw a boundary.
What if you admitted you long, more than anything, to finally meet someone to share your life with?
What if you spoke aloud that you refuse to accept a life less ordinary and goddammit, you'll do whatever it takes to create something outside the box?
What if you spoke aloud that finally, after a lifetime outside the box.. you want the ease of a life more ordinary and it's time to settle down?What if your identity is open for reconsideration...
if you only speak your truth
As it is
Right now?I want to assure you (and this is something I know for sure after having moved about 1,000 times and squeezed more giant couches into small doorways...)
That nothing is solid.
Everything is malleable.
And if you speak your truths.. tiny, big, significant, insignificant... but TRUE...
And stop creating tiny violences against yourself and others by hiding your truth...
That shift will happen.
It has to.
The question is not: "Will things ever change?"
The question is: "Do I trust myself to handle the storm of change coming?"Speak your truth.
In all ways.