"Understanding is one thing and action is another. You can spend years understanding your fear of water and still never walk to the edge of the pool and jump in" ~Barbara Sher, Wishcraft
You've done work around your inner critics and fears. If you're a coach, maybe you've done some of this work with your clients, too. The work goes something like:
1) Identify where the message was born
2) Personify it in some way so you can lessen its power
3) Create a new message
And then comes the part that makes me so incredibly angry I can't stand it.
Usually there's some version of:
Give the gremlin a new job.
How freakin' cute is that?
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I admit that in my coaching, I've used that step, in humor. "OK, let's pack that perfectionist off to be a prison guard in Sing Sing, where your perfectionist's skills are really crucial! Ha ha!" We like to laugh, my clients and I. And sometimes after a very intense dig into his or her inner critics, we need to have a chuckle before we don our scuba gear and dive back in.
But my clients' fears are no laughing matter. Those inner critics and feelings of unworthiness have maintained:
Here's the #1 thing you can do to move forward past your inner critics:
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Before you even embark on discovering your inner critic's messages, choose three scary-but-doable things that you'd be doing if your inner critics weren't at the helm of your self-esteem ship.
Then do the inner work. Discover the messages (PS, it's NOT just your mother. Trust me.) that your inner critics hold for you. Choose new, more empowering beliefs. And create resilience and trust within yourself so you have a soft inner place to land.
DIG IT ALL UP.
Then, go out and DO the things you said you would DO if your inner critics weren't at the helm of your self-esteem ship.
Can you do them? Can you feel the fear and do it anyway? Then your work is done for now.
Are you still putting them off? Then your work is NOT done.
THIS is the barometer of success in inner critic work. NOT whether your inner critics now has a cushy new job somewhere else. That's only a win for your inner critics... but your inner critic is NOT MY CLIENT.
Make a list now: What actionable things in life and business (things that feel within REACH, not a huge stretch) would you be doing if your most empowered self was steering the ship?
How do you know if fear is your bitch...